Today is one of those days where I cannot help but think ... "If women are telling me 'I miss that time when my kids were that age' and I'm finding this age REALLY FREAKING HARD ... then what MISERY do I have to look forward to in say, 10 years?"
Honestly. I do enjoy the moments. But the moments are so fleeting and the trenches after the fleeting good moments are so low sometimes. There was this is adorable moment today when Noah was putting his shirt on and said "Betcha can't find me mom!" His little eyes were peeking out and his big ole head was stuck inside his shirt. And I smiled and my heart warmed. Of course he isn't going to hide inside his shirt forever. It is likely a moment I will miss someday.
Luke had a rare moment of working so nicely on a project and he said "Don't you like how I'm working so nicely on this project mama?" YES! YES I DO! And all I can think about is how do I recreate this moment MORE OFTEN in my house!??!?! It was fleeting. Someone looked at him the wrong way and the tears came and the scissors were thrown and the shards of paper were scattered. That quickly the good tender moment ... fades.
Perhaps it is a gift of time. The stories I hear about Zach are often coated with gold lining. He did no wrong. Or so it seems. Although I do believe he was a good kid (and is a now a great Man) ... I'm pretty sure he wasn't squeaky clean with his behavior. But as time passes, the memory works to remember the good and forget the not so good. (I mean really. Ladies have babies time after time after time ... because the good, sweet memories outlast the painful ones of labor, varicose veins, hemorrhoids and barfing).
OH Bella. How your love language is clearly PHYSICAL TOUCH that as you asking for hugs on 90 degree sweaty days at the park. The ones where I bite my tongue and just give her the affection she so clearly desires because I know that is how she needs to be loved. I'm pretty sure she's not going to be asking for those hugs in her tweens ... that are a mere 4 years away (GAWD!).
Will I be one of those ladies that looks fondly at a young mama balancing multiples? Will I be the one smiling? The answer is YES. Yes I will ... because I survived. And I came out on "the other side" and because there are so many fond memories and because time will wash away some of the hard days and leave so much of the good. (it will, right?)
ps. I was totally going to write a 'ten on Tuesday' blog about ADHD ... but I didn't have the energy. I will soon but I need to collect my thoughts first. Kind of in a rough patch #sendprayers