Today I'm a shitty mom. I'm tired and my voice is loud and singed with biting anger. The little things compile until I explode and lash out at these little people that count on me to love them beyond the anger.
And oh man, can I blame them. I can blame them for lots of things. They don't listen. They don't get along. They constantly fight (c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y), argue and bicker at one another. They (specifically the middle) is controlling or needing to control EVERY situation. They are demanding. Nothing is EVER good enough for them. They want want want more than they are given.
Yep. I've got a lot of blame heaped up on them. That is kind of a lot for little shoulders to bear. And I feel bad about it. Really bad. That mama bear guilt ridden bad that includes some tears, lots of kleenex and crying on the shoulder of a friend when they simply ask "how are you?"
Sleep deprivation, the end of two solid weeks of working nonstop and travel is all weighing on me heavily. And if it is weighing on me ... it is weighing on them. I must remember that. I must.
I'm so grateful that God gives us grace and mercy and unconditional love. I need to practice that and exemplify that MORE for my children.
My yelling is not the answer. My loud voice and shouting has no purpose in these walls. I must MUST find a better solution. Today, I found a bible verse to help remind me of that ...
"A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous word stir up anger." --Proverbs 15:1
God, grant me a new day to try again and thank you for your gift of mercy and forgiveness. Lord, help me establish PEACE in my home and use my words to glorify your name. TODAY and every day, this is my prayer. Amen.